Master: Approach Students, close the circle at the feet of the master,
you have come to me asking i be your guide along the path of
Tae Quan Leap, but be warned, to learn it's ways, you must
learn the ways of your own souls let us meditation this
wisdom now, so.

All: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Ed: Ahh, sir, sir, sir.

Master: Who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?

Ed: Me. Ed Gruberman.

Master: Ed Gruberman?

Ed: Ah, no disrespect or nothin, but like, ahh, how long is this gonna take?

Master: Tae Quan Leap is not a path to a door but a road leading forever towards the horizon.

Ed: So like what.... An hour or so?

Master: No No we have not even begun upon the path. Ed Gruberman, you must learn patience.

Ed: Yah Yah, Patience, how long will that take?

Master: Time has no meaning. To a true student, a year is as a day.

Ed: A year! I wanna beat people up right now. I got the pajamas HA! WHO! YAH! HEEEE!

Master: Beat people up?

Ed: Yah just show me those nifty moves so I can start trashing bozos that's all I came here for. YO! ACK! DAAAA! CAA! AH! SHAA!

Master: The only use of Tae Quan Leap is self defense do you know who Said that? Key Lo Nee, the great teacher.

Ed: Yah, well the best defense is a good offence, you know who said that? Mel the cook on Alice.

Master: Oh, Um, Tae Quan Leap is the wine of purity not the vinegar of Hostility. Meditate upon this truth with us.

All: HMMMMMMMMMMM

Ed: listen shrimp are you gonna show me some fancy moves or am I gonna Wiping the walls with you?

Master: Ed Gruberman, you have failed to grasp Tae Quan Leap. Approach me that you might see.

Ed: Alright, finally some action.

Master: Observe closely class......Boot to the Head *THUMP*

Ed: OWWWWWWWWWWWW you booted me in the head.

Master: You are lucky Ed Gruberman. Few novices experience so much of Tae Quan Leap so soon.

Ed: Owww

Master: Now we continue.

All: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Ed: Hey! Hey I wasn't ready, come and get me now shorty. HUH come on are you chicken?

Master: Boot to the Head *THUMP*

Ed: Oww ok now I'm ready ok now try it now.

Master: Boot to the Head *THUMP*

Ed: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute?

Master: Now class we shall return to our....

Joe: Master?

Master: It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge my student.

Joe: Many apologizes Master but I feel Ed Gruberman is not wholly Wrong.

Master: What do you mean?

Ed: ohhhhhhh

Joe: I want to boot some head too.

Master: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Ed Gruberman?

Joe: Yes master, I have learned two things. First, anger is a weapon only to be used on ones opponent.

Master: Very Good.

Joe: Secondly, get in the first shot...... Boot to the Head *WHIFF*

Master: You missed.

Joe: Ahh yah. well...

Master: You too shall be honored to learn a lesson.

Joe: You know, you don't have to I can leave, you don't have to you know. I gotta be going.

Master: Boot to the Head *THUMP*

Joe: AUYUHHHHHH

Master: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here?

Jon: Ahhh yes master. Not a single one of us could defeat you.

Master: You Gain Wisdom child.

Jon: So we'll have to gang up on you. Come on now get him guys

All: Get em. Get Em

Master: Boot To the Head *THUMP* Boot to the Head *THUMP* Boot to the Head *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* And now class let us rejoin the mind to the body and gaze in to the heart of the candle in meditation.

All: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

People talking in movie shows
people smoking in bed
people voting republican
give them a boot to the head

boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH NAH

Mechanics who can't fix a car
politicians who can't think
the sales man who won't leave me alone
the waiter who forgot my drink
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot to the head
NAH NAH
boot-to-the-head